Nocturnal Illumination and Sexual Assault

In Nocs, I don’t take advantage of any issues and turn them into an opportunity to impose my opinions or agendas. What happens to the characters, and how they react, are just part of the story. I do however, tend to write as a visual artist by applying contrast, white space and a dynamic focus from one subject to the next. While Miranda’s sexually loaded moments in Nocs, Nocturnal Encounter, boarders girlish fantasies, despite her often submissive stance to each incident, her circumstances are much less favorable in the sequel, Nocturnal Illumination. Both girls in the sequel, Miranda and Lailie, experience forced encounters due to very different circumstances, which they deal with very differently. It’s a contrast between simultaneous victimization and empowerment.

After writing the article The Dark Church Ground of Johannes Kyrka, I stumbled upon an Up Worthy video of a psychologist for sexual abuse offenders. While I knew most sexual abusers aren’t strangers attacking from behind a bush, I have had a friend tell me her story of how she was raped at gun point after a stranger approached her in a city garage. The stranger attacking a victim in a public place may be less common, but real. What happens on the church grounds in Nocturnal Illumination is extremely rare, and fictional in this case of course.

I realized that during a short period of my early adult life, I used to have rape dreams. No, I didn’t fantasize about being raped – I fantasized about someone attempting to commit rape, only to meet his own doom in a furious counter attack. Was it a subconscious attempt to fight my own fear of such a possible scenario? Was it a way of planning ahead, to have an escape plan, so that I could feel more in control, and less threatened by such a haunting possibility? Perhaps.

As an author, I get to play God. You would think that I would be a benevolent god and create an utopia for my beloved characters, but it is not so. In truth, they seem to have a life of their own, so…we shall follow their doom and their salvation.

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